Little Italian Lover
by hayley.moses
Summary: Love is confusing. Particularly when you stumble upon an Italian boy eating lunch with his brother while getting a football that landed in the playground of the Catholic school by your house. Is this what they call love at first sight?
1. Lovi and The Awesome Kick

Chapter One: Lovi and The Awesome Kick

Hello! I'm back again. And I have some young Spamano for you. Have fun reading, and leave comments and stuff!

* * *

_Thwack! _

"Holy crap dude! That was an awesome kick!"

Leon yells to me, and it's true, we're playing soccer this afternoon-Leon, his sister Mei and I-and I somehow manage to land a really nice kick that sends the ball flying all the way over to the Catholic school just down the street from our houses. After a quick nose-goes, I have tor run over and get it, and as I lean to pick it up there's this cute Italian boy sitting there. He has this sort of dark brown hair, that's glowing with bronze highlights in the sun and I just have to talk to him. I don't know why, I just have to.

"Ah.. Hello," the cute Italian boy glares up at me, and his eyes are this pretty hazel-green color, "So, ah, do you go here?"

"What does it look like? Of course _we _go here. You're very rude. You must always excuse yourself if you are going to interupt someone else's conversation. Try again."

"Oh... Excuse me, but could you give me your name?" I use the most polite voice I have, using the nice accent Mama taught me for when you have to be formal.

"I am Lovino, and this is my brother Feliciano." His voice is a little deeper than it should be for a boy his age, but still lovely with a very pretty Italian accent. "Now, what is your name?"

"Lovino... Such a nice name. I am Antonio, I live just down the street. My neighbours and I were playing football you see, and the ball came all the way over here. I came to get it, and now I have met the most handsome boy I have ever laid eyes on."

Lovino-ah such a pretty Italian name-rolls his eyes and seems indifferent to my flirting, but the other one, Feliciano practically glows and starts speaking in an excited mannered Italian that I can't quite make out all the words too. Papa taught me a little Italian, just enough to have a polite conversation but not enough to be able to say I speak it as fluently as I do Spanish. Before anything else, Papa taught me Spanish. He said it was important.

I hear a word that sounds like my word for _idiot _come up very often when the two are speaking to each other and I seem to have been forgotten about entirely. I excuse myself again, this time in Italian which the two both raise an eyebrow at and say goodbye adding at the end that I hope we will meet again. I don't pay much attention to Mama's lessons for the rest of the day, opting more for glancing out the window to look at the school just down the road from me. I must see him again, I have to. I think, this is one of those love at first sight things you see in soap operas all the time. The only difference is that my compliment did not get me a date.

I stare out the window before I go to sleep, wondering where those two live, and making a pact to myself that I will see him again, and one way or another I will have him in my life forever.

* * *

Morning lessons and chores seem to take forever before I get to go outside and play during the afternoon before my evening lessons. I like my morning lessons, I convinced Papa to teach me more Italian, he said he doesn't know a lot but will teach me everything he knows. When he asked why, I was very honest with him. Telling him about Lovino and how I wanted to become friends with him. I don't mention the cute part, because I am not so sure myself what that part is about anyways. Are boys supposed to think other boys are cute?

Maybe Mei knows, she lives next door with Wang Yao and his mixed up family. I'm not sure whether or not they are all related, because their last names are all different. There are a lot of them, there are seven all together but the oldest went to college last year and hasn't come back yet. I think he went to study in Thailand or something. Wang Yao has a boy my age, Honda but unlike Mei and the others he goes to the Catholic school. Which is strange, because I remember Mei telling me once about them and I think it was Taoism? I don't really remember all of it, all I know is that it was nowhere near related to Catholicism.

I spend a good portion of the afternoon sitting as close to the playground as I can without being on the school's property, waiting. Waiting for a recess or gym class or something like that. Did I miss their lunch time? I don't think so, this was about the same time the ball came over yesterday. Mei came and sat with me for a little while and I asked her about the boys thinking other boys are cute thing. She said that she had read in a book once that was called homosexuality, where boys like other boys in the same way that boys and girls like each other. She stressed it being _like _like each other and that she saw no problem with it at all, also that if I _like _like boys that's okay by her and that she wouldn't understand anyone else having a problem with it.

Would Mama and Papa have a problem with it? They always tell me that they will love me no matter what, does _like _liking boys fall under no matter what? I really wish I had brought something to eat with me other than a lollipop I found in my pocket from when we went to the bank the other day. A bell goes off somewhere, and within a matter of minutes both boys and girls come pouring out of the door ways, including Lovino and his brother.

I sit and watch them for a few minutes, they go over to where they were yesterday and it looks like they're trying not to be noticed. I've spaced out a little, daydreaming about the stew Mama's going to make for dinner tonight, when I hear a _Chigigi! _sound and "Put fratello down! Please!" I look up, and two bigger boys and a girl are standing in front of them. One boy is holding Lovino's arms down and the girl is pulling on this strand of hair that sticks out into a curl that both brothers have, while the other boy is holding Feliciano by his wrists.

I can't make out what they're saying exactly but it _looks _like Lovino is swearing and Feliciano is crying, now the girl is pulling on both Lovino _and _Feliciano's strands of hair that stick out into a curl. All I know is that there is this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me I should help Lovino and Feliciano. I wonder if they will let me call them Lovi and Feli?

I push myself up off the grass, and walk over to them, quickly but in a dignified sort of way, as though I am better than petty fighting and being mean to innocent boys. The girl notices me first, and asks me what I want. The first thing I am tempted to do is look her in the eye and say: "Let my people go." like Moses does in the Bible. Instead I tell her to put them down, because they have done nothing to her and that she should be better than teasing boys who are younger than her.

She laughs at me.

The girl motions her head towards the boy holding Feliciano, who then drops him into a crumpled crying form on the ground and you can hear the muffled sound of a prayer being murmured over and over in Italian. The boy comes towards me, I can vaguely hear Lovino telling me to run away and that this is none of my concern but I am not going to sit and watch as someone beats up innocent people. As the boy moves closer it becomes blatantly obvious that this boy is a lot bigger than I am.

Not too long ago, Leon was talking to me about fighting and showed me various kung fu moves but also explained about punching. Something or other about throwing your weight into it and having a proper stance. I stop moving backwards six paces outside of the concrete that makes up the end of the school grounds, making sure that he doesn't notice. As long as we're not technically on the school's property I don't think I'll get in too much trouble for fighting. Mama will tell me that while fighting is bad I was doing a good thing by protecting Lovino and Feliciano, and Papa will praise me for standing up for innocent people. They have told me many times to protect people who need protecting.

The boy swings at me first, and misses. He tries again and hits my shoulder. It hurts, but if I didn't hit him first that means I didn't start a fight, and it gives me permission to finish it. I hit him back as hard as I possibly can, it _looks _like it hurts but, for the most part he just stumbles back a few paces and gives me a funny look. I've been told that I'm really strong for someone as leanly built as I am. He swings at me again, and hits my face which will leave bad bruise later and now I will have to explain the whole fight thing to Mama and Papa.

I put all of the weight as I possibly can into this punch, and hit him square in the nose. A funny crunching noise comes out, along with a groan, and my hand really hurts. The boy turns around and runs away, holding his hands over his nose. Dropping Lovino roughly on the ground, the boy and girl follow him. Feliciano is still crying, and Lovino gets up and runs over to him, cooing in Italian that I can hardly make out from this far away. I walk over to them, and mumble something about them being okay.

Feliciano nods, and Lovino just stares at me with an amazed face.

"You fought for us."

"Yes, so?" I don't see why he's so surprised, aren't you supposed to help people who are in trouble?

"Why?" Feliciano looks up with this question, and there are tears running down from the corner of his eyes to his chin that drop down into his lap.

I'm not sure how to justify the feeling that made me stand up. I look over back where my house is, coughing a little and murmur something incoherently about liking him, friendship, and it seeming like the right thing to do. Those hazel-green eyes just stare up at me with a mix of confusion and appreciation floating beneath the surface, he thanks me, and my stomach growls really loudly. Loudly as in everyone within a three-mile radius can hear it loudly. He says that a proper thanks would be to share lunch with me and that there was no refusing the offer.

* * *

Sharing a lunch with them was the best thing that has happened in my life so far. Feliciano is very funny, and Lovino can be very nice. Both have agreed to let me call them Lovi and Feli, and it just feels sort of right to call Lovino "my lovely Lovi~". He doesn't seem to mind at all, although the first time I said it, it sort of slipped out and a dark flush the color of a tomato spread across his face.

School officials came out not too long after we had finished, followed by the two boys and that girl. It was at that point that I decided it was time for me to go. I left saying good-bye and asking if they like tomatoes. Lovino said that he loves them very much, I promised to come tomorrow with some that we grow in our back yard, then ran home.

The rest of the day went by quickly, Mama had to rap a ruler across my knuckles a few times, asking me what exactly had been making me daydream during lessons. I told her that it was an Italian boy who had come to be my new best friend, Mama smiled at me and said to be careful with my heart. Maybe this feeling is what they call love.

* * *

For the next few days I ate lunch with them every afternoon at the same time. I've learned quite a bit about them, like the names of the other boys in their classes, and that they're living with their Grandpa while he's over here on business. Also, they are very _very _Catholic. Which, from what I can tell does not accept any form of the homosexuality that Mei was telling me about. I still see him anyways, and I know where his classroom is now!

I got pretty lucky on this one too! He sits right next to a window, and every now and again he'll look over at me waiting just outside the playground and stick his tongue out. Leon says that's what grown ups call "feisty". I'm not sure what it means but he says that grown up boys think it's a good thing in a girl. There's a bed involved somehow. I think the phrase was "feisty in bed." I don't really get it, does that mean the other person moves about while they sleep?

I asked Leon and he said he didn't get it either. I wrote it down on the list of things to ask Papa about when I'm older. Right now, the list is very small, and I didn't put down the _like _liking other boys thing. I think Papa would understand what I mean but he married Mama and had me so, that means he _like _likes girls not boys.

Love is very confusing.

I'm not saying that love isn't a good thing, everyone deserves at least a little love. It's just very confusing. Mei, Leon and I were talking yesterday before I left to eat lunch with Lovi and Feli about this homosexuality thing. Mei and Leon brought out this big book that had all sorts of interesting things in it, and the book said that there a people that _like _like not only other boys but girls too. That one was called bisexuality. Then, there was another one, about girls _like _liking other girls, the book said that it's also called homosexuality but most people called girls that _like _like other girls "lesbians." There were lots of other funny-looking words in there too with -sexuality added to the back.

The pansexuality one is the most confusing. Does that mean people love pans? No, that doesn't sound quite right... Other than that the big book had all sorts of things inside, things about science, and math. Cooking too! There was also lots of information about Italy, and España where Mama and Papa are from. Mama always tells me to be very proud of being second-generation Spanish and not to let anyone confuse España with Mexico. Which is another thing I don't understand, how could someone get the two mixed up?

As the days go by Lovino looks out the window at me more and more now. And, he gets a big smile on his face when I first settle down on the grass to wait for him. I started to bring my own lunch though, because Mama said that I wasn't eating enough when I went to eat lunch with my "little Italian lover". I wouldn't say that I love Lovi just yet though, Papa laughs whenever she says it and says something to her that I can't really make out. Big fancy words.

She always replies back that she's just teasing me, and that she hopes I'll find a lovely girl one day. But... I still wonder if I'll come home with a boy instead of a girl. Maybe... This will make more sense when I'm older. Lovi seems to like me more and more, asking about where exactly I live and if he could come over to play sometime. Feli insisted on coming too, and I had to apologize for not having younger siblings for him to play with. I did however say I could introduce him to Wang Yao's son Honda, who's about Feli's age. Also, that there's another boy there that's just a little older than them, Im Yong Soo. He's very nice and I've only met him the few times that he came to get Mei and Leon for lunch.

Feli was very happy about it, and said that they would be at my house tomorrow. Which is Saturday. Then... When Lovi left because the bell had rung he kissed me. He kissed my cheek and mumbled something to me in Italian. Something about 'ciao' 'bella' and 'amore'.

Bye. Beautiful. Love.

Does this mean... He loves me?

* * *

I tell Mama and Papa about Lovi and Feli inviting themselves over to play tomorrow during supper. Mama is delighted saying that she'll love to meet the boys I've told her so much about and that it will be nice for me to have some new friends over. She says that she'll make up some churros fresh tomorrow before they get here, and that I'll have to wake up a little earlier than usual to do my chores and things. Papa doesn't object to it, he just says that he wants to meet their Grandpa and get a "read on him". Whatever that means.

It takes me a long time to fall asleep, so long that I drift off into a nice dreamless sleep after counting stars. I wake up an hour early and get my chores done in record time, even going as far as cleaning my room. Straightening the assorted papers, drawings and coloring things on my desk, taking out the trash, and putting all my clothes in a hamper, then taking them down to the wash. I can barely concentrate through my science lessons, and run when there's a light _rap rap rapping _on the front door. I open it sort of slowly at first, until I see those hazel-green eyes. Then I throw open the door yelling, "Ah! My lovely Lovi!~"

Lovino blushes and looks up at a tall older looking man who has a very disapproving look on his face. Feli bubbles in and immediately into kitchen over to Mama, who had just started making the churros. I can hear him in the background, asking what she's making and if he can help her. The older man just stares down at me with that look of disapproval while I clutch the doorknob sort of helplessly. Papa comes up and clears his throat, taking the man's gaze off of me and gives me the opportunity to take Lovi in the house and up to my bedroom.

"Your room is very clean."

I smile at him, and say, "I got up early and cleaned it. I even got my laundry done."

Lovi wanders over to my bed and sits a little awkwardly, and has a look that says he wants to say something but isn't sure how to go about saying it. I'm tempted to ask him about the kiss and words from yesterday. I still don't understand the meaning of it.

_Bye. Beautiful. Love. _

Was he trying to say that he loves me and that I'm beautiful? Or is it that the love he has for me is beautiful? Then there's that kiss too. My aunties kiss me on the cheek but they're family, so, what does a kiss from a friend mean?

"Ah, Lovi-"

"I like you."

"What?" Did he just... He said he likes me. He likes me!

"I said, I like you. You saved me and Feli, and you're funny and have nice eyes."

"Oh," I'm not sure what to say, Lovi's face is going from a light pink to the color of a tomato. "I like you too, my lovely Lovi."

I think that this is the part where you kiss someone. So, I do, I lean over to kiss his cheek and find myself giving him a kiss on the mouth. The kiss is soft, and sweet even if it doesn't last long. I like kisses, mouth kisses I mean.

I think that I _like _like Lovino Vargas.


	2. I Know For Sure

Chapter Two: I Know For Sure.

This is a bit shorter than the first but it seemed like a good place to stop. Thank you thank you for your lovely comments, I always enjoy reading them. Have fun with this one guys and I shall see you soon.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention, _Bà _is traditional Chinese for daddy.

* * *

The day went by sort of slowly after Lovi and I left my room when we were called down for churros. Feli helped Mama make them, and she said that Feli has a natural talent for baking. Lovi made a face, and Feli seemed to notice because he said that Lovi is good at growing tomatoes. Which made Papa smile, and say that he hoped he would one day eat one of Lovi's tomatoes. Lovi smiled slightly, and turned sort of pink like he isn't used to compliments. I wonder, what goes on in his house to make him so strange with compliments? Is it something bad? I'll ask about it later.

It was fairly quiet while we ate the churros Mama and Feli made, except for the odd question Papa had for Lovi and Feli about their Grandpa's work. Both said that they didn't know much about it, just that he would have to leave one day and go back to Italy. Mama glanced over to me at that, with a concerned face. Maybe... Did she hear me and Lovi talking upstairs in my room? No, I would have heard footsteps in the hallway, right? I'm not sure. Neither could give a clear date on when they were going back, just "one day." Lovi added that from the sound of things "one day" was coming quickly, and that he didn't really want to go back.

After churros, we went over to Wang Yao's house and asked for Mei, Leon, Honda and Im Yong Soo to play. Leon answered the door and said that they would be out soon, because of lessons Wang Yao was giving them. Something to do with Chinese and history. In the background I could hear something or other about Mao Tse Tung. I don't think Mama and I have gotten that far in history just yet. I think we're at the Spanish Inquisition with Spanish History and nearing the Revolutionary War with American History. I like Spanish History more than American History.

Anyway, we waited outside their house for about twenty minutes or so before the four of them came out to greet us. I don't know why but, they're always wearing traditional clothes from their respective countries. Mei wears... What was the name.. qipao? Yeah that most of the time, and Leon wears a duangua; Honda this weird white uniform thing. Im Yong Soo always seems to be wandering around in I think it's called a hanbok? The short of it is that they are always dressed in traditional clothes unless we play football.

Then, everyone puts on the national uniforms of their country. I put on the uniform for Spain, Mei Taiwan, Leon Hong Kong, and Im Yong Soo wears the one for Korea. Honda's sat on the sidelines before wearing the uniform for Japan but I don't think he's ever actually played with us. Just watched. Which is fine by me, he generally refs and so far has never made a bad call. Things heat up when Fifa World Cup comes around, Wang Yao and his family come over and we watch it together, there's lots of yelling and little one-on-one tournaments between everyone. Kids and adults. While loud, it's fun.

Feli seemed to recognize Honda right away which was nice, and I introduced Lovi to Mei and Leon. Mei teased us a little bit, and I never noticed how close we stand next to each other before she pointed it out. We got a football out at one point and Lovi and Feli are very good. We split into teams, Asian nations versus European nations. It ended in a tie, because everyone got tired and hungry after a while. I think Lovi got us... Three points? Yeah, three. Mama made us those fancy sandwiches that I've heard other kids ask for in restaurants when we went out to eat, BLT's. They're very good, and after lunch the three of us plus Honda, sort of gather in the living room with all of my drawing things. Im Yong Soo came to get Honda at around seven and Lovi and Feli are very good at drawing.

Lovi looked over at Feli a lot while he was drawing and made faces as though he was comparing his to his brother's. Which is strange, why would something like that matter? I worry for Lovi sometimes, like what exactly goes on in his home for him to react to compliments the way he does and compare himself to his brother? I don't know, but I want to find out. At first, I brushed it off but now I am very worried for my Lovi.

We must have fallen asleep while drawing because I wake up to the sounds of Papa opening the door and talking to someone in Italian. He's using his polite voice, except this polite voice is the one he uses when he doesn't really like someone. The more awake I am, I notice that Lovi is next to me, holding my hand. He's smiling in his sleep and I wish I could keep him here at my house forever and ever. We could share my room, and grow tomatoes together. I could walk over to the Catholic school and bring him lunch, or he could take lessons from Mama and Papa with me. Oh! I could teach him Spanish, and tell him all about España, then we could go there together on holiday with Mama and Papa. From what they tell me it is very beautiful but they do not regret moving to America.

I'm enjoying being so close to Lovi when a small mop of hair and one of those long strands of hair that sticks out and forms a curl come very close to me and there is a light tugging on my pant leg. A small voice says, "Grandpa Roma says you need to get up."

"Huh? Why?" That doesn't make sense, I'm so comfortable with my lovely Lovi next to me and holding my hand.

The small voice continues saying something about going home. I nod, and shake Lovi gently, not a lot just enough to wake him up.

"What do you want? It's too early to wake up."

"Ah, Lovi it's time to go home now."

"Mph, Toni, I don't wanna go home, I like it here with you."

Papa comes over and shakes Feli awake just as gently as I woke up Lovi. I mutter something to Lovi about having something for him up in my room. He wakes up a little more, and follows me up to my room. I'm not sure what exactly I meant by having something, all I wanted was a hug and maybe one of those nice mouth kisses I like so much. I only get a hug before Papa comes to get Lovi, and just before he gets into a nice black car in our driveway, Lovi smiles at me. One of these pretty, big smiles that I've never seen him give anyone else.

Does he _like _like me? I really do hope so.

* * *

Today is Sunday and I have never been so incredibly bored. I keep thinking back to when Lovi and Feli came over to play yesterday and mulling over _like _liking boys. I don't have lessons on Sundays, which gives me plenty of time to lay down in the tomato patch and think. Not just about _like _liking boys, but what Lovi and Feli said yesterday. Going back to Italy. What will I do then? I could write letters, but that's not the same as eating lunch with him every day is it?

It's been awfully sunny since I met Lovi and perhaps God is smiling down at us. But, didn't the Catholic book say something about God not liking this whole homosexual thing? But, that doesn't make sense. They say that he loves us all, and the all part covers boys that _like _like other boys. Right? Hm, religion is confusing and scary. Recently, I've been very confused. All I know, is that Lovi likes me and I like him, and that's good enough for me. Mei comes out and finds me about ten minutes after I start thinking about how confusing and scary religion is, and I ask her about it.

She says that she doesn't know, and that religion seems to make people do really weird things. Like protest all sorts of things. Funerals, weddings, and so on. She did say though, that not everyone who believes in something is weird about it. Most people just quietly go to church and do their thing, then go home.

"Bà says that just because someone believes in something, doesn't mean that they do what some people do and take it too far. And, that only a small part of people who believe in things go out and do what that one church is doing."

"What one church?"

Mei waves her hands as though she's searching for a name, "That one that's been on the news all the time. The 'bad' one."

"Oh," I shrug, and say, "I don't really know what you're talking about but okay. Mama and Papa watch the news more than I do."

Which is true, but usually they're only interested in global news. Keeping themselves up to date with what's happening in España. The most current news I can remember is that some English man was caught by the police, and that people had gotten hurt during the Pamplona bull running festival. The news never really interests me unless it has to do with football. I tell Mei about Lovi saying he likes me yesterday, and she says that she isn't surprised. When I asked why, she simply said that it was because I was nice and that it's hard to not like me. I also mentioned about thinking that I _like _like Lovi. Mei said that was great and she hopes Lovi _like _likes me back because everyone deserves at least a little love and happiness.

The day passes by a little faster after she leaves to go back home, and before bed I decide to write Lovi a letter. I'm not sure what kind of letter it is, but it's short and to the point. Well, I like to think so. I go to sleep thinking of a way to get the letter to him as fast as possible.

* * *

As soon as morning lessons are over, I run up to my room and get the letter, then run as fast as I can to the edge of the playground. I can see him from here, and it doesn't look he's noticed me yet. Luckily for me he sits right next to a window that always seems to be open which is good. That way I can slip the letter through the window and down into his lap. I brought a pencil with me just in case he writes something back, and look around to make sure no one can see me when I walk over as quietly as I can to the window. Well, to the space between windows. I crouch down and move over to just underneath his window, listening carefully until I can hear the scritching of chalk on a chalk board before I pop my head up a little to make sure no one's looking (and that I have the right window) before slowly reaching my hand up into the window and letting go of the letter.

Out of the corner of my eye I barely see Lovi looking down and out the window. I can hear the careful slow noises of him opening the letter, which I tried to fold in just the right way so it doesn't make lots of noise when it gets opened. There's still the scritching of chalk on the chalkboard and the sound of the teacher talking. A second scritching I can hardly hear, which sounds like pen on paper. Looking up, I can see Lovi look around the classroom then flick the letter out of the window and onto the ground.

I open it up as quickly and quietly as I can to see in nice, perfectly legible handwriting:

_What do you think you're doing? If you don't get out of here soon the teacher will see and we'll both get in trouble Toni._

_-Lovino_

I quickly scribble back that I don't mind getting in trouble with the school because they don't know me and I can run away fast and as long as he doesn't get in trouble then it should be okay. I wait a few minutes before I can see the teacher sit down and hear her order them to write down and solve the math problems on the board. She calls it "arithmetic" which is weird. Just call it math like everyone else does. The letter falls out of the window again, this time saying:

_If you get in trouble it's your own fault, but the letter was very sweet. I would love to go to Spain with you. -Lovino_

The letter goes back and forth in a conversation that goes like this:

_When would you like to go? If I save up all my money from chores and things we may have enough to stay with my Grandmama and Grandpapa for a little while. Mama and Papa would insist of coming though. -Toni_

_Before we go back to Italy would be nice. But, from what I can see from the x's on Grandpa Roma's calendar we might be leaving in a month or so. -Lovino _

_If it doesn't work out before you leave, I could come visit you in Italy. I don't think your Grandpa likes me very much. -Toni _

_That would be nice, I could show you around Roma. Grandpa said last night at dinner that he doesn't really like you. I don't know why though. You've always been so nice to Feliciano and I. I argued saying that you saved us from bullies but he said that didn't matter so much. Something about boys aren't supposed to be as friendly to each other as we are. I don't really get it, I asked Feliciano and he doesn't either. -Lovino_

_It didn't look like he liked me very much when I opened the door and called you my lovely Lovi. He had a funny look on his face. -Toni_

_That's his disapproving face, it's really a miracle that he let us stay. -Lovino_

_Well my lovely Lovi, I hope that you can come over again soon. I had a lot of fun when you came over. -Toni_

_I do too, it was definitely a lot better than spending the day with Grandpa. I, uhm, I didn't... really want to go home. -Lovino_

_I know, you told me when I tried to wake you. Who was the boy with the funny looking curl? It was all bent and angular unlike yours and Feli's. He looked like a mix of the two of you. -Toni_

_That was my baby brother. He turned three not too long ago. He's three and already womanizing like Grandpa, Grandpa says that he's the only one who would have the most success with flirting with girls. I'm not sure why though. -Lovino _

_Weird, and he's only three as well. Either way, I like you and that should count for something right? -Toni_

_It does. It really does. You're the first person in a long while to like me just because I am me. _

_-Lovino_

I stop for a moment as I read the last one. Is that really true? I don't understand, why wouldn't anyone like Lovi? He can be cold sometimes but he's also nice and kind and caring once you get to know him.

_Other people might just not see you like I do. -Toni_

_And how is that? -Lovi_

_I see you as nice, and kind, funny and caring. A little insecure but, I like you for all of you. Not just for the good parts. -Toni_

_What do you mean by 'not just for the good parts'? -Lovi _

I smile and finish the letter with _You'll see one day soon. See you at lunch. -Toni_

* * *

Lovi made a lunch for me. My lovely Lovi made me paella. He must have apologized dozens of times for it being cold but, even cold it was delicious. Probably even better than the paella Mama makes. Feli told me that all the maids at their house are jealous of how good of a cook Lovi is, something or other about natural-born talent and a young age. The more I think about it, the easier it is to picture the two of us living together as grown-ups. Like Mama and Papa living together, except I don't think boys can marry other boys just yet. Even just living together would be nice.

No one really says much about them leaving and how soon it seems to be. We just eat and laugh, while I start to wonder more and more about this love business. At the end of lunch, just before I went home Lovi handed me the letter back with a small smile. The inside read:

_I hope one day comes very soon. -your lovely Lovi _

I think, no I am sure now. I _like _like Lovino Vargas. I definitely know for sure. When I tell this to Mei later in the afternoon she jumps up and down and hugs me, saying that now all we have to do is find out if Lovi _like _likes me back.

"But, Mei, how do we do that?"

She tilts her head to the side and puts one finger over her mouth. It takes a minute or two before she suggests, "Why don't you just ask him?"

"No! I couldn't possibly do that!"

"But why? Antonio, it would be a lot easier to just ask him."

"Mei, if I ask and he says no then I might lose him forever. He might be leaving soon and I don't want to lose him. I love him too much." I stop for a moment.

What did I just say?


	3. What's On The Outside

Chapter Three: What's On The Outside

Hello! I am back, sorry for it taking so long, I have been procrastinating. Anyways, enjoy and comment and stuff. Also! I did my best to make the Italian in here as accurate as possible. If I messed up let me know, happy reading~

* * *

Laying in my bed, I can't stop thinking about what I said to Mei this afternoon.

_I love him too much. _

I don't understand, I was so sure that I _like _like him and now I'm confused again. After I said that, I spent most of the day in my room absent mindedly drawing and eventually laying on my bed staring at nothing. Mama came up when I missed supper and asked if I was not feeling very well. I told her that I was just very confused. When she asked what I was confused about I said that it was hard to explain. Mama kissed my forehead and said that she would save leftovers for me when I was done figuring things out and got hungry.

How is it so easy to go from sure about something to confused again. Maybe I'm not supposed to know about these things just yet. No, if grown-ups can be sure about things like this then I can too. I roll over and look out the window, staring off into space. Even the stars have been shining brighter since I met Lovi. I really am going to miss him, when he leaves. There's always writing him letters, maybe one a day. I slowly drift to sleep a little hungry and thinking about all the things that I can put in my letters to Lovi while he's in Italy. My last thought before sleep is if he will come back.

I sincerely hope my lovely Lovi will come back to me.

* * *

A few days pass by with no mention of them leaving for Italy. From what I can see though, every day there is a little more worry on their faces. A look that's almost like they are dreading their departure. A boy called Ludwig started eating with us about a day ago. He's very nice, pale with blonde hair and kind of stony blue eyes. Feli seems to like him a lot, and every so often there will be a small bit of mutual feelings crossing his face. Ludwig is the same age as Feli and has an older brother Gilbert who's my age. Gilbert hangs out with a boy named Francis a lot and the two seem to instantly attach to me as friends.

They said something about wanting a new friend and not being very well liked. Which is strange, so far they've been really nice to me. Maybe they have the same thing as Lovi where no one stops to see farther than what's on the outside. Maybe people are too lazy? Or.. Perhaps they just don't care, which is awfully rude. You can hurt a lot of people when you don't care enough to look past what is on the outside. Making assumptions and guesses about who a person is without stopping and really taking a close look. Why would someone do that?

Anyway, every day it feels like time is moving faster and faster every afternoon I spend with Lovi, Feli and everyone else. There's quite a group of us now that Gilbert, Francis and Ludwig started to come over where we sit. It's fun, and the girl and those boys won't come near Lovi and Feli anymore. Not since I stood up for Lovi and Feli. Well, that's just from what Gilbert and Francis told me. According to them her name is Mary and they don't know the two boys' names. Gilbert and Francis say that she doesn't like them and that she may or may not be afraid of them. Which is weird. Why would anyone be afraid of them when they're so nice?

When lunch ends, Gilbert and Francis tell me that they want to visit my house tomorrow during one of their classes. I say okay and am told to wait at a particular spot on the playground for them around noon. I stand there for a little while after they leave because something catches my attention and it's making me confused.

Two boys. Kissing. Over on the left edge of the playground they seem to be doing their best not to get caught. The two are a lot older than me, if they're kissing then... Maybe, maybe they'll have an answer for me about _like _liking boys! I try not to make too much noise when I walk up to them, and the taller boy jumps a little when I pull on the elbow of his shirt. He looks around before looking down at me and sighs like he's glad it wasn't some one else.

"Who would you be?" The taller boy has blonde hair, and glasses with really big blue eyes that look like the sky almost.

"H-hi.. Ah, I'm.. I'm Antonio, and ah, I have a question..?"

The other boy looks at me, he's a bit shorter than the other one with green eyes the same color as a pond near my house and hair that's the same color as the cabinets in Mama's kitchen. He also has really big eyebrows. Really _really _big. He crouches down so we're at the same height, and asks, "So, Antonio, my name is Arthur. What question do you have for us?"

"W-well.. I was wondering about _like _liking boys. I have a friend and.. I _like _like him. But I'm confused. I saw you two kissing so I thought maybe.. Maybe you could help me?"

Arthur and the other boy look at each other then seem to come to a silent agreement. Arthur stands up and offers his hand to me and motions for me to follow. I go with them and they take me into the school which is very plain. At my house we have pictures up all over the place, some are of Mama and Papa when they were younger, some are Grandmama and Grandpapa, my aunties and uncles, a bunch of them are of me or Mama, Papa and me. The walls here are just painted white with an occasional cross here and there. They take me into a small room with a sign that says: _Student Council Office_ on the door. I wonder what that means, 'Student Council'. Anyway, when we get inside they shut the door and lock it.

The taller boy says his name is Alfred Jones, vice-president of the student council and that the other boy is Arthur Kirkland, president of the student council. I'm not sure what they mean by that but they sit me down on a nice comfortable chair and ask me what I want to know about _like _liking boys.

"I... Well, I have this friend... Lovi and I like him very much, but not like a friend. I like him the same way that Papa likes Mama but aren't boys supposed to like girls?"

Arthur sits across from me with Alfred leaning up against a big official looking desk.

"You see, boys don't _have_ to like girls. You can like anyone you want no matter what people tell you. Who is the boy that you like, Antonio?"

"I.. I _like _like Lovino.. Lovino Vargas."

Alfred makes a face and says, "Lovino Vargas as in the new Italian kid that came here with his brother a coupla months ago?" I nod, and I can feel my face getting warm.

"Uhm.. Do you.. Do you _like _like boys?"

Arthur smiles and nods at me. "Don't worry about it too much okay? If you _like _like a boy that's alright no matter what anyone else says. Love doesn't extend for just boys _like _liking girls. Love is for everyone, it doesn't matter who you are, what you look like, if you're a boy or a girl, love will always be for everyone."

They're giving me these nice, gentle smiles and I feel a little less confused now. What he said makes sense, why wouldn't love be for everyone? "So.. This means that's it's perfectly okay for me to _like _like Lovi? And that Mama and Papa won't be upset?"

Their smiles go from gentle to a little sad and Alfred says, "I'm not so sure about them being not being upset, but yes it's perfectly okay for you to _like _like Lovino," he laughs a little before saying, "Hey, Arthur and I _like _like each other and no matter what the nuns teach us it's perfectly fine. Afterall, Pope Francis said that when God forgives he also forgets, and that _'If a person is gay, seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge?' _Don't worry about it too much okay?"

I nod and feel a little more confident than before. They keep smiling at me, as though they're enjoying the feeling of having someone who _like_ likes boys too. The two of them ask me about Lovi over cups of hot chocolate and I tell them everything. I'm not sure why but Arthur and Alfred give me this feeling that I can trust them. When the clock rings for five I jump up, thank them for their help and the hot chocolate, and tell them I need to go home now. They say to be careful because my yellow shirt and red shorts stick out from the blue and plaid uniforms the school has. It takes five minutes or so to get home and as soon as I walk in the door I apologize to Mama for being late to afternoon lessons.

She asks me why I'm late, so I explained about clearing things up with some older boys at the Catholic school that I was curious about. Mama laughs and tells me to sit down and eat some buttered bread before we get started. Lessons go by fairly slowly and I'm still thinking about what Arthur had said.

_Love is for everyone_

I really hope so, but it makes sense. If God made love then, why wouldn't it be for everyone? So.. It's okay. It's definitely okay that I _like _like or.. love Lovi. I'm still thinking about it as I fall asleep and even into the dream I have where Lovi and I are older. But, the dream is sort of strange it feels as though I haven't seen him in a long time and he's there at our doorstep holding a letter.

* * *

The end of their last month here is coming quickly and you can feel the air of tension between us all. I do as Francis and Gilbert tell me and wait at the edge of the playground for them somewhere near noon. Lovi notices me sitting out here and stares out the window smiling like he does every day even though several times a teacher lady has come up and rapped a ruler across his knuckles. Every now and again those two older boys, Alfred and Arthur, go over to that spot and start kissing all sneaky-like before holding hands and going their separate ways.

After about ten minutes of waiting Gilbert and Francis appear out of no where and run over to me, stopping only to tell me to run as fast as I can. I do as they say and take them over to the pond where we fall onto one of the mossy spots near the edge. We start laughing and laughing for no reason at all. When we've finally calmed down, we look at each other and the laughing starts again until it dies out into giggles.

They ask me where we are, and I say that we're a ways away from my house in a little spot of trees that make up the outer edge of a really big forest.

"I think it's called an alcove."

Gilbert and Francis look around with this look on their faces, like they've never been in this kind of place before.

"I've never seen anything like these, the trees at the park in the city are no where near this big," Gilbert sounds kind of amazed at everything that's here, "Hey! Can we go swimming in there?"

"Swimming in the pond?" I've never thought about doing that before.

"Yeah!" Francis joins in as though it'll be some sort of adventure. "We can take our uniforms off so they won't get wet, and the nuns won't notice! It'll be like we never left the school! Come on, let's do it!"

Gilbert and Francis start pulling off their clothes and I follow suit because it feels sort of obligatory. The water is absolutely freezing when we all jump in but after a few minutes it feels warm like bath water and we're all laughing and splashing water all over the place. It feels like hours have gone by when a pinging noise sounds and Francis says that the pinging is an alarm on his watch set for when we needed to run back to the school for lunch.

Having wet underwear is a little uncomfortable but we scrubbed ourselves semi-dry with a coat I had brought with me and run back to the playground. Looking over, Gilbert's hair looks kinda green, and I had never noticed how light-colored his hair is. Almost silver looking. Ludwig, Lovi, and Feli give us weird looks when we collapse on the ground and start laughing.

"Antonio?"

"Yeah?"

"We should do that again."

"Francis is right, definitely do that again."

Gilbert looks over at me and smiles while Ludwig picks a little clump of algae out of his hair. Feli asked us what we went out and did to have our hair look as though someone took a bucket of green paint and drizzled it on one's hair and Francis tells him excitedly about going swimming and having to slip out of the classroom, lie to every nun they passed and sprinting away from school and responsibilities. Lovi gives me a weird look, to which I smile and hug him. He protests some saying that's there's a bunch of green stuff in my hair and that it's gross. He does offer to pick it all out though, and I let him, giggling every time he makes a grossed out noise.

Eating lunch with them is just as fun as it always has been, even with the day that Feli and Lovi leave coming closer. Gilbert and Francis argue over the exact details of how they got out of class and fled the school grounds, and the lie they gave the nuns was really kind of clever. Something to do with throwing up, the sanatorium-what ever that is, and bad porridge. They say that it wasn't very hard to pretend to be sick and that the entire escapade was very funny. There was a lot of laughing and the two seem really proud of themselves. When the bell rings, Lovi thrusts a piece of folded paper at me, says to read it later and that he wants a reply. I walk home sort of confused like, but wondering what exactly the letter says.

Afternoon lessons got really interesting, Mama had to go into town so Papa took over for her. He started another science lesson but this one was a little different than the others. All about space, and really obscure things that I don't quite understand, something about astra-astro-astrofis-astrophysi-astrophysics. All about stars, and black holes. I like black holes, Papa showed me these really cool pictures of them. There's this big black spot and color around it, some of them look really neat all warped-like. They can swallow whole stars too! And the gravitasho-gravit-gra-vih-tay-shon-al pull is great enough to swallow anything, no matter how big it is. That's all we do until Mama gets home, talk about space and stars and finally dreams. Dreams of going to the moon and seeing all these things outside of pictures.

Mama makes _fideuà_ for supper, my favorite! All yummy-like with allioli sauce and lots of fish and noodles. Papa and Mama both laugh at me saying that I'll grow awfully tall and strong really fast if I eat the way I do when we have this for supper. We have chocolate chip cookies and milk for dessert made with special Spanish chocolate that Auntie Marcela sent us from España, the chocolate is awfully rich and very different from American chocolate. I don't mind either way, chocolate is chocolate no matter where it comes from and I like chocolate.

I excuse myself from the table as soon as I'm done and run up to my room to read the letter Lovi gave me that I stashed in the pecil drawer of my desk. I hold it in my hands for a few minutes, staring and debating on whether or not I want to know what's written on the inside. I'm awfully nervous, which is new, it's just a letter, what am I so worked up about? I decide to close my eyes and open it really quickly without looking. I look down and find,

_Toni,_

_Penso che potrei amarti._

_No, lo so che faccio._

_Ti amo tanto, _

_Lovino_

Ah, oh oh oh. He said he said...

_Toni, I think I might love you. No, I know I do. I love you so much, Lovino_

I lean back in my chair and can't believe it. He loves me.

He loves me! He loves me! _He loves me! _My lovely Lovi loves me!

I have to tell Alfred Jones and Arthur! Will they be proud of me? Maybe happy for me? Ah, I need more advice. What do you do when someone loves you back?

* * *

I'm waiting for Alfred Jones and Arthur, glancing over at their spot from time to time. I haven't replied to Lovi's letter yet, I want Arthur to help me write it. I've been waiting for twenty minutes or so before I see them, and I give them a few minutes before I walk over to the two just as carefully as the first time and pull on Arthur's sleeve. The two jump and look scared until they recognize me.

"I need advice."


End file.
